Shattered Times
Edition Three:
1 Feb 576AZ.
HEADLINES
NEWSPAPERS LOST IN TIME TYPHOON. We only pray this doesn't happen to us.
SHIT STILL GOING ON WITH ARTIFACTS OR WHATEVER. Err... Yeaaah.
GIANT WOLF WILL APPEAR SOON--- BE PREPARED. You shouldn't worry; you've got daays to prepare.
ANOTHER HATE CRIME IN SPACE FLORIDA. Reporting no fatalities, as they don't legally consider minorities as people. Dicks.
Misc. News....
*So, the gods are dying out.... Probably nothing.
*Pasta may give you tumors. "That's-a spicy, meatball-sized lump," stereotypical Italian chefs say.
*Freddy Mercury's killer still at large.
*Mime threatened by mob not to "squeal" in court.
*Naruto will end this year.
* Jaws MCLVII: The Reawakihappening Again does surprising well in theaters. Terrorist movie bombs.
*Have You Seen Three Latino Children? Well, you'd better go catch them!
* Confucius says, "Buddha's a prick. Worship /me/."
*Star Whale migration delayed by the British.
*Futurama cancelled fot the thirty-eighth time.
*Rednecks may be homophobes; consult doctor.
