Edition 1; December, 575AZ
Merry Christmas, readers! This month is filled with joy and togetherness, shared by all religions! Except for Atheists. And Zal-Palvians, am I right?
Z6 Summit Expected
The Z6, as you no doubt know, is the name given to the group of the universe's mightiest heroes. Artik, Ryuga, Makoto, and Cyril are prominent members. No doubt they'll be discussing important matters. By that, I'm sarcastic; they're just having a Christmas Dinner. They are not expected to need to save anyone this year. 'Others are welcome,' Artik said to our correspondant, 'but no Semi drivers.'
Still Civil War on Majin
The people of Planet Majin have been engaging themselves in bloody conflict over their various differences. There is no current hope for resolution. A while back, the Z Fighters showed up in their mysterious blue box and the people rejoiced at the possible end to the war. However, it seems they got out, left a bunch of damn sightseers there, and got the hell out.
New Products in Bazaar
Heaven's newest shop, the Bizarre Bazaar, owned by Cyril himself, has added a nice bit of new merchandise: a strange way to change your race being one. Various religious groups are protesting on grounds that, 'Some non-corporeal being gave you the body you have. Stop being a tosser.'
Misc.
*Visit Uberia, planet of prostitutes and three-breasted whores.
*Who's on first?
*Chests are for holding things. Yes, even the anatomical one--- mind blown?
*Seriously, who the hell is on first?
*Sports stuff happened today. Both teams were punished for their vile crimes.
*What?
*It's my dick in a box.
*I get it now. His name is Who.
*Did... Anyone else see a weird thing in a tuxedo rattle at me?
*Free air. This week only.
*Gay Parade all Day in May?
*Did... Anyone else see a weird thing in a tuxedo rattle at me?
*Midriffs. Aren't. Even. A thing.
*What's that in a tuxedo?
*'Football mayght have gibe ne framedamage', Hender Hendirson of the American Planet said.
*Vaginas are weird, right?
