Rick had just killed a lizardman with Emily, then got knocked out twice by Makoto. He got up slowly and brushed his suit off to find no trace of Emily. "Right-o. Might as well screw around with some Romans." He stood several paces in front of the TARDIS's doors, put his shades back on, and clicked his fingers. The doors creaked open, and light washed over his black overcoat. Rick ran his fingers threw his hairs, cracked his neck, and walked into the ship. The doors creaked shut behind him and he took his glasses off, examined the cracks, and threw them into the corner. He walked to the console and found a new pair of round, blue-tinted spectacles with gold frames. He shrugged and decided to have a new wardrobe change.
Several minutes later, Rick walked into the console room, clad in a white suit. He had a strong urge to walk across a street with three friends. He shrugged this off and walked out of the landed TARDIS. "This isn't Rome...."
"Rome, Nova Roma," a voice said, "Same thing, really."
Ryuzaki turned to see Laetus. "Oh, hey. What do you want, Laetus?"
Laetus laughed, "I like you, Rick. To the point." He leaned on his umbrella, "See, we're having a bit of a population crisis." He pursed his lips, "See. Immortal beings tend to have quite a lot of time on their hands...."
Rick nodded, "Gotcha. So how do I help?"
"If you would, Mr. Hideki, go and find us an unpopulated planet."
He shrugged and walked off. "TARDIS. Planet search: life 0%" The TARDIS wheezed into takeoff and Rick walked out in a spacesuit, "Woah."
Woah, indeed, Rick. A planet covered in dust. No life, no water, no minerals. Except dust, of course. Rick scooped some up and tasted it, "Doesn't seem to be a dead thing," he muttered.
He shrugged, "TARDIS. Subroutine G1:1." The TARDIS whirled to life and the dust began to rearrange into water, soil, and basic plants. "Terraforming a success," Rick mumbled.
Laetus was out buying cabages from a vending cart when he heard the wheezing roar of the TARDIS. "Gosh darn it, Zaki. Stop leaving the damn brakes on!"
Rick stepped out and walked into the cart, accidently setting it rolling down a hill. You could hear a man screaming a trademarked catchphrase in the background.
Rick grinned at Laetus, "Got it!"
"Yaaay," Laetus said. Rick agreed. They got drinks. And they roasted lifestock. Married birdwomen. Met giants. The usual. Eventually, they stumbled upon themselves from a seperate reality. They were ghosts. It was lovely. The adventures they had lasted sixty words. They had fun. Lots of fun. Funny fun. They had sex with prostitutes. They had bloodtests. The ghosts were positive. Yaaay. Positive for funitis.
That, and The AIDS. All the AIDS. More than Magic Johnson.
Rick parted the ways and walked along the hot sand of Nova Roma's Konstani Desert. He contemplated life. And how he somehow helped it.
WC: 500
