Artik sighed at the pang of power he felt surging in Makoto. Artik decided there was little he could do to stop Makoto, now. He needed to train more. He waltzed into a Capsule Corp. Store and bought a Dragon Radar. He wandered aimlessly for a bit, in a desert...
Artik sighed. "How did I get lost in a desert?!" He found a camel and rode it to an oasis. Until Terrorists chased him to a cave....
"How did I get into a cave?!" Which, he realized, was a Taliban safe house. Artik ran to the Sea Floor....
Artik was safe. Until ZomBin Ladin chased him into an Octopus's Garden. In the shade. He let him in, knew where he'd been. In an Octopus's Garden, below the waves. Artik sang and danced around, feeling he's happy and he's free. Until it got bombed. The Octopus's Garden, in the shade. Artik flew with the atomic blast to The Lookout. He waved at Popo, before falling off the side. He landed in Korin's Forest, meeting with some [NATIVE AMERICANS]. He attended a [FEAST] and was promptly [GIVEN A MEDAL]. He ran away from the [MEDAL CEREMONY], dodging their [COMPLIMENTS]. He found himself in a hole in a jungle....
"Golly gee. How could things get worse?!"
A voice, insane and racist, yelled from a corner, "GET OUT MAH HOUSE." Artik ran far away from Mel Gibson and found himself in Amsterdam.
"...Dude.... What?" Artik giggled.
He woke up in a hotel in London Town. "What... What happened?" He saw the trail of destruction, the broken window, and the man in his bed.
"YOU AREN'T MY WIFE." Artik ran from Rosie O'Donnel, throwing up a bit.
Artik found himself underwater, again. In an Octopus's Garden, here with you. Knowing he's happy and he's safe. No one there to tell him what to do. Except the Octopus. Fuck dat Octopus. Artik swam. But 'swam' was mispelled and he found himself in a movie in which Natalie Portman was a lesbian. He ran. Fuck dat shit. "Tease", he screamed.
Artik spent a few hours with cocoa and fanfiction. He read about Harry Potter inheriting the Island of Azkaban. It was a good story. Good author. He also read something about 'DragonBall Z', but it confused him. "Goku... Goku wasn't gay for Vegeta!" He shuddered. "That was Tien and Chaozu!"
He ate some ramen, in honour of his lost comrade, Naruto.
He sighed heavily as he finished the noodles. He smiled hollowly, deciding to wander a bit. He watched the Northern Lights and smiled, thinking of how much Makoto would love the beauty of this sight. He loved the finer things. And yet, he felt bad for Vegeta. The, err, Planet Vegeta. He looked down at his feet and saw a strange, orange orb. He pocketed it and smiled. "Wish come true." He yawned and decided to look for the rest, having the Two-Star. He blipped the bloop on his radar and frowned. The Dark Ki was disrupting it slightly.
He sighed and wandered a bit. "Lalalalala. La. La la. La la la. La la la la. La la la la la la la la." A smurf smurfed in, so Artik smurfed him against a smurf and Marklared the [EFF!] out of him. Artik pocketed his belongings, a One-Star ball.
He whistled as he walked along, feeling so burdened and lost. The lights of the city, as he passed by, seemed like they were swallowing him up. He'll go to a place, he'd never been to before, even if people thought he was out of his mind! He took a rusty machine gun, he fired away and was promptly waterboarded by the [NONDESCRIPT GOVERNMENT]. Because [ENHANCED INTERROGATION IS GREAT AND EFFECTIVE.] But we know that. Like how the universe is [ONLY FOUR THOUSAND] years old. And that evolution [IS AMORAL AND WRONG]. Anyway, Artik escaped and searched some more for dragon balls. He frowned as he passed West City. Slightly more crime than usual. Yay. Anyway, Artik got serious and, abandoning hope in the radar, meditated.
A riddle formed in his head, 'Up, then down. Or down than up. The core of this riddle is rather easy. Perhaps in the end, you'll have a mantle piece.' Artik realized the answer and flew into the air, rising above a volcano, before plummetting into it. He passed the lava, his Solar Saiyan-ness protecting him. He found himself in a magma-cave, housing a rock monster.
"Get it, baby?! Rock monster! Cause I'm a bloody rock 'n' roll monster," Ginger Baker shouted, brandishing his metal cane. "Just take the damn ball!"
Artik nodded and flew away. Seven-Star! Huzzah, he did it! Yay! We win! Three down!
Artik smiled and walked to the next possible place. Kame House. "Hey, Roshi!"
"Ehh? Ah, Artie! Here to learn the Kaio-Ken?!" Roshi grinned perversly.
Artik sighed, "Old Timer. You DON'T KNOW THE KAIO KEN."
"Ehh?! Hellzone Grenade?"
"Nope."
"Ki Canon?"
Artik blinked. "That's my..."
"Damn. Macarena?"
"Dance."
"Lampshade?"
"Close enough. But, naw. I'm good, yo."
"Fo' shizzle?"
"Fo' shizzle, my n---"
"Woah, Artie!"
"...Neighbor," Artik finished, brow furrowed.
Roshi pointed at a nearby island. "Dragon Ball."
Artik thanked him, flying across the water and landing on the island, he blinked at the odd bird-thing. "Hullo?"
The weird bird-thing, a bird with a mosquito's thorax, answered in a regal voice. "I guard a Dragon Ball. You must prove yourself."
Artik sighed, taking out his Fighter's License.
The Birsquito nodded, "I, Squalla, grant you this ball."
Artik blinked at how easy that was. He smiled and pocketed the five-star ball. Yay. Arrrrriba! Huzzah! Molto bene! He uttered some Latin and bade Squalla farewell. Artik was more than half way there. But he would sleep for now, in the shade of a tree. He dreamt of toast. Not, crunchy toast. No, lightly crispy, still a little soft, with butter JUST melted. It was a beautiful affair, to be sure.
Artik awoke. "One, two, seven and five. Three to go. "
Artik sighed. He ran after a bus, and jumped on the top. It was pretty cool, and stuff.
Artik got off the bus and ran towards a mountain.
Jim Murdenson had always dreamed about scaling Everest, but now he finally had a chance. You see, the recent years caused Everest to shoot up out of the atmosphere, making it near impossible. But, Jim Murdenson was prepared. He had a pressure suit and oxygen and everything. He beamed as he put on his helmet, starting his lone ascent to the summit.
Well, until he saw Artik. The orange man sped past, emanating a strange, blue glow. The man, hair flowing behind, jumped up and landed somewhere high on the face of the mountain. At the peak, he found the Six Star Ball. Artik jumped down and landed on the ground in front of a man in a funny suit. "Hullo, there!"
The man threw off his helmet and wept loudly at the man who destroyed his chance to be the first to climb it. He punched a hole in his helmet and winced at the glass in his hand.
Artik blinked at the man and ran away. "Crazy." Artik shook his head and stared blankly ahead.
When he got there-- there beig nowhere in particular-- he stopped and sat at a bench, thinking aimlessly about jelly beans. Which are good, I suppose. I am not one to, err, fantasize about them, but... Whatever floats his boat.
Artik wandered a bit, trying to hurry before Cyril, Makoto and what's his face were done with training. He ran, hoping he was far enough to find the balls on his radar. What luck, there was one close by. In the ocean? "I swear, if I..."
Artik sighed. In an Octopus's garden. In the damn shade. That fucking, all-consuming, malevolent, volatile, dick-spacklimg shade. He sighed, letting out his oxygen. But, Artik had no need for it. He sighed, politely eating the seaweed offered to him. Tastless, dry seaweed. How the hell is something dry IN THE DAMN OCEAN. He nodded, at the octopus, who wore a top hat and monocle.
Artik asked to look around the garden, searching the kelp and sea potatoes. At last, a piece of sea soil was disturbed, and Artik dug with his hand, falling into a deep abyss. A dark chasm of silence and pressure, scary, scary. Terribly scary. But he was not afraid, because he needed to waste more time; I mean, search for the ball. He swam a bit, careful not to misspell it. It was well, finding a tunnel, following it. He found a dimly lit room, filled with angler fish. He shuddered at the sheer gruesomeness of its face, as he jumped a bit at the first sight of it. He yawned, though, letting some air out again. He saw, in the glow, an orange flicker, he jumped at the ball, and fought off the fish. Holding the three star, he jumped to the surface.
"One more. Just one more." He strode off, drying himself in the sunlight. Then, he realised it was night. And the light was from the moon...
Luckily, now he could control his Oozaru form. He roared, honing his mental skills on the most likely place the last Dragon Ball could be. The Fourth Star. Artzuru was nearly there. So close. Very close. Almost. Just keep moving towards the Dragon Ball. He was attacked by a couple of fighters, believing Artik to be rigue. He dispatched them and staggered over to a lake, passing out. He awoke, cursing, as he was in his normal form. He flew off towards the north pole. He finally made it to a glacial, and he saw a orange something in the ice. He broke it open with a ki blast, and picked it out of the ice. Cheering, he failed to notice Titanic III ram into the glacier, he turned around, to yell at whomever was screming. He gasped and scrambled to save the Earthlings. "STOP MAKING BOATS NAMED TITANIC." He cursed, picking up the two halves of ship and carrying them to land. He then went back and saved any else. He bowed and walked towards a nice patch of grass. He threw the balls on the ground and sighed, waiting for a good moment to summon the Eternal Dragon. He frowned, hoping he wouldn't have to kill this one...
Ugh. 'Done'.
